Geriatric texting, how is living with it
I just happened to take in that: I’m an old man texting, I cannot text or communicate decently with younger people. I don’t know why, there’s something intimidating about them. I freak out when trying to reach out, and feel like the old uncle that is trying too hard to be cool. Funny enough, if, I’m by myself, or with friends, who happens to be younger or not, I’m totally fine. I’m sure that when in person, I might be a little dazed, but I definitely, can handle the shitshow well. Maybe is just not a ‘young’ thing: I think is just texting.
I believe I’m horrible at texting. I just rather pick up the phone, talk for 1 min and solve simple shit, instead of having a two weeks thread that I have no bloody idea what the fuck we’re talking about anymore.
Texting, for me, even with friends, feels like a sort of ‘Grindr’, ‘Tinder’, ‘Match’, or whatever the bonks this gibberish is about. The feeling I normally have is:
hey, wazap?
Hey, nothing much, you?
Ya, all good, my dog got a perm
k, coll.
Conversation dead
Hay! How are you? Miss you
Hey love, miss you too, is all good, how about you?
All good, just like this corona is tuff right?
Yeah, difficult times.
Conversation frowned
Omg! I saw this cute whisky on the liquor store that reminded me of you.
That's so sweet, how are you?
Ghosted
Did you hear Carol Channing is dead?
Oh shit! We’ll miss her.
Indeed, how are you? Thinking about our times at the theater.
I’m alright, just feeling like, you know how Alfred is, but all good regardless.
Oh yeah, it can be blah (I don’t like Alfred comment, lol), good luck, wish you the best
Painful end of the conversation with of some bs emojis
Hey!
That's it
a: Hey! _wed jan 21 3am
a: Hi, how are you? __fri Feb 13 2pm
a: Hey, what’s up? _ the Mar 2 4:20pm
a: blablabla/ I miss you so much/ or maybe, fuck you bitter bitch/ or maybe, my dad dyed/ or like, I want to hang myself (and you’d be prob guilty if it happens when you probably shouldn’t)/ or just a simple: whazzzap. _Jul 20 3:30am
b: never answers and, as likely as not, had privately found a way to block the messages from the creep
Ok, done with the morbid text speculations.
I have to assume that, my text conversations are not that short IRL (that’s something I had to learn too), however, most of the time, they feel as short and as impersonal as that. Don’t get me wrong, Texting is a current survival tool and it can be pleasant and convenient sometimes, I just feel inadequate at it. So, now getting to the, previously mentioned, “age” thing: I had my sixty-year-old friend (drama pause), friend teach me the difference between: hm hmm hmmmm. I had no fucking clue there was such a drastic one, moreover, to be honest, I already forgot the damn difference betwixt these fecking things.
Therefore, I feel wide-eyed writing with ‘dictionary’ arguments, ‘intimidating’ four words syllables, and some fancy crap that I, foolishly and naïvely, want and research to adorn my intellectual excretion. She tries to be ‘Grammarly’, nonetheless, she doesn’t stand a chance. Hence, she likes too much her referencias, her je ne sais qouis, and, her mete essa gramática no te cú minha querida.
On the/my whole, unfortunately, I’m alive. Thence I will have to share my bad texting; Thus my questionable writing, I have no choice. Get ready! ALL CAPS SHIT, SomE WeiRd S*..!@_; Just give me the benefit of the doubt when reading my texts. Sometimes, I don’t know what’s sarcastic, ironic, hmmmm, maybe hm, maybe IDK, maybe awwwww, or oooown, or whatever.
woHoowaaa! I think she nailed it, (volcano emoji) (Weird traffic sign emoji) (eggplant emoji) (the yoga whatever emoji)