I've done it all guy

Wondering through a bar with a friend one month ago, I cross pass with this gentleman. We exchange names and the most “new yorker” questions of all ‘what do you do for a living?’

- note that in some cultures, such a question so early in an introduction is perceived as rude and classist. That is stated because in the beginning of the interaction, one wants to basically ‘define’ the person’s class, influence, skills, networking and other social constructions with just one question. New Yorker’s tend to perceive this interrogation as natural and at the same time useful, so it can ‘easily’ generate conversation topics and determine if the person ‘might be worth your time’. However, I believe as to be a ‘put in a box’ kind of question. - 

He answered ‘I sold my soul to the devil, I work with meds advertisement’. A question so filled with self-consciousness, a gigantic part of judgment from the speaker and surely from others that crossed his path previously. No, I don’t agree that his job is worth his soul, but society might. It’s a job, not necessarily a ‘world cannot function without’ kind of job; nonetheless, simply a job. 

The conversation developed a little more. With my tipsiness I tend to be more vicious in my questionary. Noticing that he was not pleased with his position, I asked him: well, what else you want to do with your life then? He answered, I’ve done it all. 

- wow, ok; That for me is a gigantic statement. An uncomfortable statement as well, taking part that I’m a person with an enormous self-criticism and overachievement built in; It was just unconceivable that someone had done everything they wanted with their life. Sure, I believe that if I dropped dead right now I wouldn’t be displeased with my life. However, I’ve done everything I could with my life, I haven’t done it all. - 

So where do I go from there? An overwhelming feeling of annoyance ran through my body. So then I just really wanted to know, have you done it all, right? So tell me all about what you have done since you’re such a godlike creature. I ask - where have you travelled to? He answers me: London, Paris, Milan. Me: That’s it? He counterpoints: Dublin!? He states his answer like Dublin is the most cutting edge thing you could have done. No offense, I really want to go visit Ireland, but it is not the done it all ending of a “done it all’ statement, specially when filled with doubt. 

My wicked self couldn’t contain in its own frustration. How could someone think that they had done it all? It just sounds like a feeling of letting yourself go, hanging your hat. On the other hand, sounds like the discouragement of a privileged man. It’s much easier to be a depressed ‘royal’ than when you have to struggle through survival; Raging against several obstacles to reach any source of what is ‘believed’ to generate happiness. 

With all this twinges that he managed to generate all over my brain; I question him: What about Asia? What about Africa? What about South America? Have you ever been to any other place? He just declined, at the same time as I felt had questioned the unthinkable, or as if was trying to sell him a Camry in a Ferrari shop. Then I go further: Have you ever gone paragliding? Do you speak any other language than English? Do you like doing anything, maybe painting? Or even playing an instrument? He stood there shocked, his eyes said no. I don’t believe he took offense on what I said, but the questions seamed to bother him. He started to be unquiet on his stool, looking completely cramped. He managed to end the conversation promptly, with the classic dismissive ‘I have to leave, I work early tomorrow morning’. I did not objected his statement and let him go.

Yes, he probably worked the other morning early, but was clear the reason he was leaving: who wants a fire under your ass or a seemly infamous 20 something year old bugging your ear, when you’re tired and just got to the bar downstairs to relieve your miserable self in one or couple martinis. I get his point, but I don’t take my nudging back. 

There is nothing more wrong with being too comfortable, when I mean this is not related to body image or liking your bed. But when you’re too comfortable that you don’t stand up from your bed in the morning or don’t take care of your body: it’s not comfort anymore; Is depression, amotivation or any self-sabotage feeling. We need to find the middle.

I query again privilege and own-cultural centrism. Western civilization (some others too) tends to look at any other cultures and perceive them as primitive, barbarous and uncivilized. This prejudice is common and completely unhealthy to one’s mind. This tends to reinforce the 'I’ve done it all’ statement and block out minds to constructive paths. 

For those who still believe your own civilization is indeed more ‘developed and the center of the universe’ I recommend this read: “Guns, germs and steel” by Jared Diamond. Not just will mind-blow you as it is going to make you grow more proud of your culture and be respectful to others. 

To close my thought, we do need indeed to be proud of our achievements, not just the big ones, but the daily ones as well: Getting over a school test that might be tuff to you, hearing your boss without screaming back, dealing with an annoying parent in a family dinner, making to the gym even if you’re tired, etc. - It’s so hard to be alive, we’ve put so much of ourselves in to this already, the everyday life is a bitch. So why not make the best out of it? Why not challenge and expand your horizons to new experiences? Why not go for the things you always wanted to do and always found an excuse to avoid it? - So yes, you can be tired, you can be happy with what you’ve done so far with your life. Nonetheless, don’t come to me and say you’ve done it all, because you’re just lying to yourself.